Tandem Nursing - My Story.

I know it's not a "green" topic necessarily, but tandem nursing CAN go along with extended breastfeeding, which CAN go along with baby led weaning, which is a growing trend and definitely can be defined as "green" since you typically prepare baby's first foods yourself and aren't contributing to waste with baby jars. We followed this path with Mady and will with Declan as well.

When I first got pregnant with Mady, I remember thinking that I would NEVER breastfeed past when she could talk, thinking that it would be weird for her to ask me to nurse. I started attending LLL meetings after she was born, to get support, and met my friend Margo (one of the leaders locally). She was still breastfeeding her 18 month old and tandem nursing her oldest. When Mady was about 6 months old, she announced she was pregnant again, and she was still nursing! I was amazed. The topic of when to wean came up in a meeting and when I expressed my discomfort at nursing a child who can verbally ask for it, Margo quickly reminded me that children can learn to talk early but I wouldn't want to wean at 9 or so months, right? That really got me thinking and reevaluating me stance on extended breastfeeding. I can honestly say that if I hadn't met Margo I wouldn't have been open to the idea of extended breastfeeding, much less tandem nursing.

When Dave and I started considering having another child, Mady was still under a year old. I knew for sure that I would not want to wean her just because I got pregnant, and so I started researching tandem nursing and nursing during pregnancy. I read a lot on Kellymom.com on the subject and learned that nursing the older child can help a TON with jealousy issues. Sounded like the perfect solution to me! Besides, I was nowhere near ready to wean Mady. She certainly was nowhere near wanting to wean herself. At a year old she was still nursing 2 hours around the clock (thank goodness for bed sharing or I'd have never gotten any sleep!).

We found out I was pregnant a few days before Mady's first birthday and were elated. I was instantly nervous about the reality of tandem nursing so I picked up Adventures in Tandem Nursing and got to reading. I'm glad I did, too, since my care provider didn't seem too informed on the subject and offered me advice which conflicted with the book.

There was some pain associated by nursing while pregnant. However, it was only an initial stab of pain that quickly subsided. The teething bug hit us at 15 months which meant teaching Mady how to nurse with teeth. The pain of nursing a teething child was definitely exacerbated by the pregnancy.

Mady started spacing her sessions out at about 13 months old, and was asking for water more often. Breast milk during pregnancy mimics milk in the weaning stages when it loses it's sweet taste and becomes saltier. Many toddlers up water intake at that time. My supply was steady up until about 20 weeks when I suspect my body took a quick break before beginning the production of colostrum. Mady was down to nursing at nap and bedtime a few months before Declan arrived. In fact, in the few days before his birth she had completely weaned herself. She didn't nurse again until 2 days after he was born.

She was having a lot of trouble coping when he would nurse. One time, during a tantrum, I asked if she needed milk. She, very enthusiastically replied, "ah, pease" (yes, please). Declan had just nursed, so I handed him over to Daddy and that began my time as a tandem nurser. For a while he always nursed first, to make sure he got what he needed. It is VERY difficult to distract a toddler on a mission! We found that a special box of toys and/or snacks was key (Mady's favorite is stickers). She was asking for milk at just about every session but only nursing about 3 or 4 times a day. We were able to distract her every other time. Once we knew his weight gain was good I started nursing her first occasionally, or nursing them simultaneously. What a juggling act that is!

For a few days she didn't want to nurse while he did, but quickly came around to the idea. Pretty soon she was stroking his head or even holding his hand. She slowly stopped asking for milk every time I sat down with the nursing pillow, and became more interested in playing with her "special box". Ever since she started nursing again, she is more interested in the baby and rarely exhibits jealousy these days. That only lasted a few weeks. She is now down to nursing first thing in the morning. I think it's just her way of reconnecting with me after a night apart. She doesn't nurse at nap or bedtime anymore.

Tandem nursing is a challenge. It's trying to meet both kid's needs at the same time, but on a different level than when nursing the oldest isn't a factor. Toddlers can be so emotionally fragile that the slightest delay in their turn to nurse can spell disaster. There were many times when Mady was climbing onto my lap while I was nursing Declan to try and get milk herself. I don't nurse them simultaneously anymore, mostly due to the fact that the positioning is near impossible. Mady still has a worse latch than Declan and I can't possibly keep them both latched well at the same time.

However, there is nothing more sweet than gazing down and seeing both of your kids nursing. They are interacting in a truly unique way. In continuing to nurse Mady, I am meeting her emotional needs in a way that is so easy for me. We still play together and cuddle as much as she wants, but the nursing seems to reach so much further.

While part of me longs for the day when she is completely weaned, the other part of me knows that it will, in a sense, be the end of her babyhood. She will always be MY baby, but when she nurses it is almost like she the same baby I held that first moment I became a mom.

Happy Earth Day!

We aren't doing anything "special" to celebrate around here, but we have made so many changes in the last year to become more eco-friendly so I'll just talk about those!

-Cloth diapering Declan from the start. With Mady I was so overwhelmed with the options for a newborn that we used disposables until she fit into our BumGenius diapers. I loved all the tiny fluff I used with Declan, and was sad to see it go (I sold it recently since he outgrew it).

-Going paperless for every bill we possibly could.

-Stopping the use of paper towels for everything except draining bacon grease. We now own a ton of kitchen towels and cloth napkins that we use and love. I particularly love how it only takes one towel to clean the largest mess.

-Slowly transitioning to homemade cleaners. I am packing all the harsh cleaners away and will likely list them on freecycle for a family in need, or take them to the next Household Hazardous Waste day.

-Using homemade detergents and dryer balls. We use Crunchy Clean detergent for both cloth diapers and our clothing. I love it, especially because I'm supporting a work-at-home-mom like myself.

-Reducing the amount of "stuff" we own, as well as reducing the amount we acquire. We donate everything that is in good shape (which is most things). I am trying to purchase clothing for the kids primarily from thrift stores now so that I am reusing instead of buying new. Considering clothes get outgrown so quickly, this has both a monetary and environmental impact.

-Gardening. We planted peas onions and garlic this year. The peas aren't doing so great but we are excited to find that the garlic and onion are growing strong! I can't wait to harvest it.

-Composting. We have the supplies for a simple compost pile and just need to set it up, probably this weekend. That will help with the amount of trash we have in our kitchen bag (allowing us to use less bags overall - although we keep it down to one bag a week most weeks).

-Recycling. Despite all the hullabaloo the mandatory recycling program has caused in our city, we are both happy to pay for it. It was a pain carting it ourselves when we lived in MD and this is sooo much better. They collect every week and the bin is typically full!

-I have stopped using disposable pads. I took the plunge as soon as my "stash" arrived after Declan was born and slowly transitioned during the postpartum period. I finally have it down and am happy to be rid of the dependence on something disposable like that. The laundry is cake and they're so much more comfortable! Plus, I'm not being exposed to nasty chemicals for a week or so every month.

And lastly, making more foods from scratch. The more foods we make ourselves (like pizza dough), the less money we spend and the more healthy it is.

What are you doing this Earth Day? I hope this post inspires you to try something new!

Rehab is over!

It ended on Friday night, technically. We've been doing a ton of work around the house this weekend so I hardly noticed!

I don't know if I will continue with the rules as they were. I need to have the option to be flexible and having set rules just doesn't allow for that. I feel guilty if I break them. So I think I will take another approach to our TV watching from now on. If I find myself struggling to find something to watch, I will turn it off or switch to music. I will take into consideration how what we are watching could affect the kids if they watch as well. Shows like Law & Order and Criminal Minds probably aren't the best, huh? This rule will honestly take care of most of our TV watching. No more Golden Girls on for 2 straight hours either. I think I've seen every episode out there, but they are a great pick-me-up, so I will save it for when I need it.

I've really found that the best pick-me-up I can do is take care of our home. Having a tidy house does so much for my overall mood. I also am going to start introducing activities like playing with playdough to Mady to help her be more creative. She loves to color so I think that she will enjoy the playdough. And it will be made from scratch so no harm if she eats it ;)

Here's a picture of our finished bathroom! I may get a new curtain since this one has been torn up by the cats, but we'll see if I can find one that "goes" as well as this. I hope you enjoyed your weekend too!

Day 5 and Some Revelations

We're on Day 5 of Rehab for TV-aholics and it is going well. Monday was a bit tough, as I had anticipated. Mondays always suck. Mady was used to Daddy being home and asked for him all day. I was very glad that we set the rules in place over the weekend so that I was already used to the routine.

I have realized that when I do not have the TV on I get bored more easily with just sitting around on the computer. So the house is a bit more tidy than usual. We've also gone on more walks to use up time in the afternoon. I got tired of the same music channel, so we listen to the toddler tunes channel too, which Mady seems to enjoy. I read more to her, and she is more attentive to my requests of her (like diaper changes, etc).

The tantrums were REALLY bad yesterday, but I think that it was due to boredom. So today I made sure to suggest activities when I saw her losing interest in her current one.

Overall I feel like I'm more tuned into the kids. I'm very pleased, and have found that I don't really miss most of what I watch. The mornings are the most difficult time for me. I'm used to watching the Golden Girls every morning and still miss that. But it is on later at night, so I've been watching one or two episodes after Mady goes to bed. It's perfect for me to watch while tidying up and getting Declan to sleep. It's kind of my reward to myself after a long day.

Day 2 of Rehab for TV-aholics

We've been following our rules Saturday and Sunday and, I'm happy to say, things are going well. I feel like Mady has been more engaging and easier to deal with. She even helped pick up toys and books before bed tonight instead of zoning out in front of the TV. She loves music and so we spend most of the day listening to the music channels that the cable company provides. She has good taste in music ;).

I have been more likely to find productive ways to use my time. For instance, today I primed the ex-wallpapered parts of our guest bath. This project has been nearly 2 years in process and now we're so close to being done! The house isn't looking much cleaner; the kitchen is still cluttered and the living room is a bit of a mess, but it's better than it usually looks at the end of the weekend. I won't have to do too much tomorrow to get it looking tip-top. On the agenda this week is some spring cleaning Simple Mom style, and hopefully painting the bathroom.

After talking it over with Dave, we decided that TV doesn't have to be off limits after Mady is in bed at night. Last night I didn't even turn it on, and tonight I haven't been really paying attention, choosing that time to get chores done, like unloading/reloading the dishwasher and folding laundry. But it is nice to know that I can reward myself with some veg time at the end of a long day without any guilt whatsoever. I enjoy it more too.

Well, Declan is waking up for his next feeding soon, so I'm off to get some towels folded while I wait! I love productive days!

Rehab for TV-aholics

We are TV-aholics. It is all my fault. Before I met Dave (and up to when we moved in together) he rarely watched TV. Now he turns it on the second we get in the door and rarely chooses to turn it off. My daughter is addicted to her "Signing Time" DVDs (educational, but still) and often spaces out to the TV during the day.

I grew up with the TV as my babysitter. Sad but true. I remember as a child always wanting to be like the characters in the shows and movies I watched. Perhaps to escape my tumultuous childhood. I was never satisfied with being myself. And I never learned how to play creatively. Sure, I remember playing "secret garden" in my grandmother's rose garden, but that is it. Seriously.

I do not want my children growing up the same way. When I was pregnant with Mady I vowed that I would stop having the TV on for background noise. Then she was born and taking 45 minutes to breastfeed. As much as I loved gazing at her, it was boring doing that for so long and the silence drove me insane. I needed the TV to distract me from the pain and exhaustion that accompanied those first few months of her life. And what better to do when up late at night feeding a baby but watch old TV shows?

Well things haven't changed even though I have vowed over and over to change our habits. I was doing really well for a couple of months when she was a year old, but we fell off the wagon.

I would like to try, REALLY try for a week to ONLY watch new TV shows (most of what I watch is reruns - often the Golden Girls). I'd still let Mady watch her "Signing Time" twice a day, and I'd be allowed to watch 1 movie. At least that way if Mady was awake while I was watching, she wouldn't be exposed to the commercials. We have music channels with our cable package so that's likely how we'd cut through the silence.

I just need some encouragement to take this step. I'm only committing to a week for now so that it seems more doable. I would post updates on our progress every couple of days, with how we are filling our time, etc.

How do you fill your day with your toddler?

Cooking with the Kid(s)

One of my favorite bloggers, Erin of Valley Girl Has Baby Goes Crunchy, is always posting pictures of her cooking/baking adventures with her daughter. Lucy isn't much older than Mady and Mady has been showing way more interest in watching what we're doing, so we gave it a try a few days ago. We baked some cookies for Easter and it was a hit!


Sneaking some sugar and chocolate chips:



Enjoying the rewards of all her hard work (chocolate first, of course):


I've made it a goal of mine now to include Mady whenever I am doing something that requires measuring out ingredients. On Monday she helped me mix up the marinade for our fajitas. (We use this marinade recipe, by the way). Tonight we are going to have Murphy's Hot Hamburgers tonight. I'm sure Mady will love helping me season the meat and make the fries!

An Introduction

We are a So Cal family that cloth diapers, practices extended breastfeeding and is making changes to become more eco-friendly as well as budget conscious. My name is Maria. I am 26 years old and starting to feel like an old lady. I have a sister who starts HIGH SCHOOL next year! Holy Moly.

My wonderful husband is Dave. He is an aerospace engineer and works for the Navy. We live in a small town that isn't close to anything. But more and more, we prefer it this way. We spent most of 2009 in southern Maryland. It was close to my family (fantastic!) but close to DC (horrible). We just aren't cut out for the east coast I guess.

We have two kids, Mady (almost 2) and Declan (6 weeks old). The changes we make are purely for the enrichment and benefit of them. Otherwise there would be no reason to do any of it. I want my kids to have a full life. I want them to be healthy and to have every opportunity possible. What EVERY parent wants.

So follow along as we change our habits, our mindsets and our lives!